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spring dreams

Are your dream seeds beginning to bud? Mine are. But, I’m starting to think maybe too soon. Saturday marked the Vernal equinox, the official first day of spring in the Northern hemisphere. Everywhere I look, leaves are beginning to unfold, little green shoots are pushing through the soil, and at some elevations flowers are already showing their colors. I’ve spotted a few bees and butterflies and the birds are going bonkers with their mating calls and territorial clacks.

I’ve noticed that a few of my ideas that were swimming around elusively during winter’s hibernation months are beginning to take some semblance of a shape.  Resources, synchronizations and reflections in the physical world are signaling that “yes”…those early unconscious thoughts had a strong enough vibration to begin attracting nourishment for manifesting.

In the Southwest, this is the time of year when spring truly roars in like a lion! We sustain howling gusting winds threatening enough for our weathermen to send out high alert warnings through every radiowave. As if the 20ft. high wall of dirt continually blasting past my windows isn’t enough of an indicator. It’s a final test time it seems.  As the poles begin to shift on their axis and we move closer to the Sun, the solar winds wail with a fierceness that asks if what we want to birth this year REALLY wants to exist. What doesn’t survive the winds…or even one last late frost…won’t make it at all.  This is harsh shit. The winds are so violent they strip the soil and vegetation of water and nutrients. And with no moisture forming on the horizon, these buds better have some fucking unwavering survival DNA cellular make-up pumping through their veins.

Also, let’s not forget the planetary line up currently rocking our personal intimate structures! Immersed in a full moon lunar eclipse in Libra, Daniel Fiverson so eloquently describes yet more rebirth labor pains.

In the chart for the eclipse, the Moon makes only 3 planetary aspects: a full phase opposition to Mercury in Aries, a last quarter sextile to Mars in Sagittarius, and a last quarter tri-quintile to Saturn, also in Sagittarius. This energetic matrix describes the potential for conversations to become heated as self-importance, and the momentum to be separate, brings emotional fire to personal standpoints. The impetus is for attitudes to polarize and become confrontational.

Venus is in Pisces. We feel this Virgo-Pisces energy as disorienting emotional confusion, vivid and often lucid dreams, and an angst of unfathomable origins. We seek some kind of existential, but elusive perfection and symmetry to the Universe, however it must be constructed according to our own ethical standards. The squares from Sagittarius to Pisces expose these conflicts and crises between what we believe to be true, and what is universally True.

 There is so much more to it and you can read it here

But, ultimately it seems to me, to be that final powerful destructive/life giving energy of Kali out in full force asking us….

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS?

No place more than an in our personal relationships will the reflections of doubt, uncertainty, insecurity, old patterns and ways of thinking and being become blaring and profound. We are faced with choices of moving forward with some and letting go of others. Sometimes some of those buds that were beginning to open were being nourished by the ones we have to let go of ….or even are letting go of us. Sometimes it’s the other way around.  And sometimes they are in the void sitting in between…..waiting…maybe even missing the window of opportunity altogether.

I don’t know about you, but I am feeling extremely fragile at this moment in time. I am not sure I have built up enough strength to endure any of the above….let go, move on, sit in the void, stick with it.

The wind is gusting at 45 mph outside my home. I feel as if it could rip through the doors any minute  bringing chaos to my peaceful little sanctuary of dreaming. My spirit feels the same…..as what I thought was OK and real, may not actually be so and I won’t be able to save every little leaf, bud or sprout. Father time up against Pachamama are throwing each other up against the ropes in the ring with every ounce of energy they have stored up, both equally determined to succeed. What survives the reckoning, will ultimately be the winner. For the moment.

I am striving, boldly to nourish my spring dream buds with hope, compassion, love and kindness.  I also know I will need to surrender to the outcome of what survives.

 I must remain optimistic, that what survives will bring new life that is  bigger, brighter, more abundant, beautiful, loving and awe inspiring than anything I could have imagined all winter deep in the cave of dreaming.

Hang in there my friends. See you on the otherside!

xx