I’ve been rifling through stacks of old photographs. There was a period of time where I was surrounded by horses everyday. My soul has Always needed horse energy. From my earliest memory they found their way into my sleeping and waking dreams. Then over time they showed up in my physical life. I spent one summer tracking and photographing the mustangs of The New Mexican Horse Project. We auctioned my prints off to raise funds for the project that sought to preserve what is believed to be the original bloodline of Spanish mustangs brought over by the Conquistadors.
My spirit is so complete when I am in the presence of…witnessing…honoring..sharing space and riding horses. I’ve had the privilege of having several horses be my personal companions in my adult life. There was Honey, the palomino filly whom I rescued from a trail company in Alaska. Riley wasn’t even a year old yet, I was a new mother and I took on my first horse at the same time. It was glorious and hard all at the same time. A year later, the arrival of my second child demanded that I find Honey a new home as I simply had no time to give my little mare.And my heart broke.
Years later, a move south to New Mexico, home ownership and a little bit of land and I KNEW there would be horses in my backyard! There was Tami, the Quarab/TB sorrel mare out of Secretariat bloodlines. She had suffered a severe injury early in life and it was not treated correctly. But damn…she LOVED to RUN! So, we exhibition barrel raced for fun and conscious not push her old wounds back to a place of trauma. Then there was Grace. Grace was an Appaloosa/Arab cross. Sporthorse galore. I was in charge of “starting” her. I taught her ground manners, then worked her up to trusting and taking the headstall, a blanket and ultimately a bareback pad with stirrups. I never got on her though. I realized after a few months her belly was getting bigger. Although not quite 2 years old she was obviously pregnant.
But, The one that stole my heart completely was Choppo. He was a little Navajo reservation mustang that I rescued from a guy who had replaced him with big younger quarter horses and in turn Choppo was neglected. Choppo had suffered a lot of abuse in his early days as he still had a huge scar cut deep into and across half of his tongue. So, when it came to trust…well, he trusted himself FIRST. But, I was lucky enough that in time he learned to trust me back….some. He opened his heart and I never pushed him. We’d lay in the back 1/2 acre on sunny days napping. He looked at me like I was psycho when I brought home a crazy Alpine goat to be his companion..even though secretly I know he loved him. Choppo and I would watch moon rises, monsoons and the chickens darting around the perimeter of his area. Through our committed and respectful partnership I was able to discover he loved bareback rides at sunset. And when he relaxed and trotted…he collected as regally as they come! And when he cantered………..I would raise my arms to my sides throw my head back, close my eyes and howl!!!! It felt like we were not even touching the ground.
Up until recently, I was led to believe that by this summer I would once again have the chance to reach my hand out and open my heart and home as solace and refuge to a few horses truly in need of care and love. But, that promise crumble, quickly, suddenly from out underneath me. The only thing I could do at the time was drop my vision of such a union and board up my heart to the possibility of answering a long awaited call, while I myself healed.
Life does this to us. Gives things. Takes things. Life gave me all the pretty horses up until now. And they keep comin’ back around in some way. I have finally resolved that horses will be a part of my life , as long as I”m around. I believe if something keeps showing back up…and asking you to participate, there is something more there to explore. Something to take you deeper and more expanded than ever before! Plus my North node is in Sagittarius….So, yeah. Soul destined to be paired with horse energy. Being with horses is the ONE place where I am always completely present, and in constant awareness of how subtlety I’m communicating and how it is being received and returned. And then there’s just that space of unspoken word…the one where your heart explodes and your fairy tale dreams become real.
What keeps showing back up for you I wonder? Will you go another round? Give it another GO? See if there are more GIFTS to receive ……and ultimately give back?