Category Archives: ROOTS

Odin’s Daughter

(Journal Entry August 2014)

He sat perched upon the telephone pole as I came around the blind curve in the road.

A brilliant shade of deep blue-black. His feathers shiny and gleaning from recent rains, slicked out his masculinity. Neck feathers ruffled, fluffed and valiantly displayed were intimidating and impressive to any on-looker.

Silhouetted against a storm painted grey sky, he lifted his head and “cawed” repeatedly.

“caw! caw! caw!” three times.

And then again.

If he were a man, I suspect he would have been walking slowly supported by a staff in a long tunic cloak with a big floppy hat, one eye curiously missing. Curious only to those oblivious to the story of the Viking who sacrificed his eye in exchange for knowledge and wisdom to Mimir’s well located beneath three roots of Yggdrasil, the world tree.

Why such a display, I wondered.

The answer only a mere fifty feet down the road. A dead bird lay lifeless strategically placed by the grim reaper himself on the glowing double yellow line.

” oooohhhhh NO!” my heavy heart cried out deep inside my chest.

It was a flicker. I could tell by the one recognizable wing fanned out across the pavement. Feathers of a master painter as they always look as if they have been dipped into a burnt orange southwest sunset.

Hence, THE caw!

#Odin’s son perched proudly on the telephone pole, was staking his claim to the dead. A Valkyrie in his own right. Even though in the Poetic Eddas Odin is followed by two-ravens, the meaning is not lost on the crow in this story. He would be the one to aid in this Flicker’s crossing over, even if that meant picking his bones clean leaving nothing left for the passing lifeless vehicles to repeatedly wipe out its beautiful unassuming spirit.

I am transported to my days of studying Native American mythology which included the meanings of birds and animals in a totemic ‘medicine’ context. The Flicker, a member of the woodpecker family, according to some North American tribes is associated with the Strong Sun Moon (June 21-July22) and a symbol of family. Being a July 9 (Cancer, mother of the zodiac) and mother of two small fledglings, I have often related to the strong paternal instincts and nature of the Flicker

But, all week I have had a lingering sense of dread. The time has come for my babies to leave our summer nest and venture back into their school routine. This drastic change cuts our time together in half for the next 9 and half months as they acquire an “education” an hour away and find home with their dad during the week days.

My heart is heavy. My mothering instincts want to fight, cling, hang on, and pretend there is no threat to our divine connection. My heart cries out deep in my chest, same as it did for the dead flicker.

Tomorrow, when my darlings go, I too will wait lifeless for the sound of a “caw” above me, or the golden sympathetic touch of Freya. One that promises to haul my limp body to Valhalla where I may drink and celebrate in the presence of my Norse ancestors and the Gods and Goddesses.

It is the only thing that will replace the silence and longing, until they are once again curled up in my arms laughing and kissing my cheeks

Welcome Back : Your Roots Have Been Waiting

Long ago, in a not to distant past, I found the power to change in the darkest of places.

Freya Aswyn in Northern Mysteries and Magic speaks of Shamanic magic as,

” an intuitive , spur-of-the moment application. A catalyst in the magician’s emotion, or deep rooted feeling, or the emotion felt at a moment of pressure. In this type of magic, the magic energy comes from the immediacy of the feeling. “

Such has been my personal experience for now almost half my life. Yet, it’s interesting that up until this point, these catalyst emotional power points that transmute the experience and the shaman, for me, have been from places of perceived pain, suffering, trauma and oppression. I wonder, can the opposite also be true? Can these powerful reincarnations be created from a place of ecstatic bliss?

I don’t want to say : created from “love,Light, and healing”….this seems to just be bait in waiting for guilt and shame to fester and grow. It’s like, If I’m not creating now in only Love, Light and Healing then I’m a piece of shit. And besides, I just did a whole rant on this “healing, we need to be fixed mentality” in my newsletter where I demanded that WE ARE NOT BROKEN! (wanna read it? sign up here).

So, what is a Shaman do? A Seidr of Northern descent?

I connect to my roots. These time tested mythologies of my ancient people, the Norse.  Who in turn were intimately living with and connected to Earth and the Cosmos. I love the stories and players of these scripts and old wisdom. They make me feel at home in a world that at times seems so unfamiliar and destined for destruction…anyway. I have these particular wild woods, where there is a tree, my Odin tree, where the Runes are always speaking through the branches both on the tree and the ground. I used to live in these woods. I ventured there weekly, daily, seasonally. They were my lifeline through all that cataclysmic pain, suffering and oppression. And they were my instant line to ancient kin, the earth and divine. Where I would go in despair and after I picked myself up out of the deep dark wet funk, inspiration and revelation unfurled.

But, I try not to get too caught up in dogma…religion…even if it is a blood and bone lineage I know deep in my cellular make-up.

So, I was all connected..you know..through trauma. Then life booted me out of these woods. And the man I loved but also was a mirror of all my pain, got to stay. And so I stopped going to these woods. And I left my Odin tree, my Yggdrasil…my portal out of darkness.

And I swam around in Chaos for a few years…you know….finding surface lifeboats to jump into and keep moving along. Sometimes going back to the mirror, just to access the woods. So it seems in hindsight. (truly though, I did believe the union could all be “fixed” and “healed”) I digress…

And then I said…….Fuck it! Those are my WOODS, my ROOTS, my HOME, my KIN…..I can visit anytime I want…and they began to call me back. Beckon me. Tempting me with the coolness on the air and the ominous, mysterious ” you know you want some” clouds nestled up against the tree tops on the mountain high.

“Come…come….. pack up your bag, bring your essentials and come lay in my presence, be seduced, let me remind you what lay in waiting for you here”

And so I did. Less than 2 steps on the trail of my pilgrimage did there lay a raven tail feather in pristine condition.. Yes, my ancestors were still here..it was their whispers I was hearing. Afterall, Odin does have two ravens (thought and memory) that go out into the world to bring him messages and news.  And I did the walk. And I lay in the grass under that Odin tree. And I let myself get lost in all of it. I witnessed myself, I lay on the earth loving her. I listened to the bees and leaves on a gentle breeze as pine cones fell to the damp wet floor.  I read the messages in the branches while laying on my back upon a handmade quilt crafted years ago by my own hand. I watched the clouds roll by and begin to build. I laughed with Thor who began his rumble in the near distance. I read my book and played with Freya (my dog).  I felt my root chakra get heavy and grounded as I once again tapped into my ancient roots.

Up until  now, I had been living up in the highest of leaves….even trying to keep the burnt, dead and gone attached long beyond their life span…I had tried to deny the natural forces and cycles of dying, releasing, letting go taking place in and outside of myself.

But, you know what was different in my ancient woods this time? I didn’t have to be in a perceived space of pain, suffering and trauma to access the transformational power. And I wasn’t forcing myself to be in a “trolly lolly la” (that’s a real word) Love, Light & Healing space either……I was in A MOMENT of ecstatic bliss with EARTH AND KIN. And I had arrived there by listening to the whispers once again. The whispers that assured me that tuning out the excess unnecessary noise of everyone else and following the magnetic pull no matter who or what might be out there was my birth right…I didn’t give my power away…I lived it.

And I am curious now. To do more of this….ecstatic blissful reincarnation dancing with ancient story and kin in the now for the future…for you know what…for the sake of my own frickin’ SOUL!

 

moon day musings…the veil is thin

On the land, I walk. The earth is my greatest ancestor. She is home to all the rocks, trees, plants, animals, winged ones, creepy crawlies and more that hold the wisdom of the ages, of time….the wisdom of me.

EARTH * GAIA * HOME * ANCESTORS * ME

This time of year, all is illuminated right before the darkest of nights and shortest of days. Around the time of Samhain, the veil is at its thinnest. For those who speak the language of the land, this means there is more room among us for the dead, the spirit, those who have passed.

SHADOW * REFLECTION * ILLUMINATION ~ The powers of a magician, of life and death.

For me, I must stray from the worn beaten path. Stepping between the tufts of golden grass and serpentine weaving through dead prickly pear and chollo cactus that bear a striking resemblance to skeletons. This part of my Wild lands is heavily populated by coyote and the sign is everywhere. I ponder my own place within the spaces in between. A kin to a wild animal, I follow my instincts to the top of the hill to get a broader view.

Ahead of me, a small illuminated circle of grass that has gone to seed beckons I sit in its center.

SACRED CIRCLE * CENTER * CONNECTION * WHEEL OF LIFE

I nestle in and face East for the element of AIR, absorbing the golden rays of Sun. My body knows that the shadow time is upon us and I must soak up the light while I can. My mind begins to quiet and I stop for a moment trying to figure out how in the world I”m going to create all that I need to make it through the winter. Instead, I open to receive the messages of my ancestors…..

WINTER * ROOT * MAGIC * DREAMTIME * HEALING * RESTORATION

My attention settles on a gnarly looking root. I am unaware of its original origin, perhaps a cactus or other succulent considering the terrain. I notice a hint of ease and anticipation about the coming months of hibernation, dream time and winter rooting. I recall how I am about to begin Sean Donahue’s year long Plant Magic course and recognize that moments like these will be opportune to truly tap into more plant and earth wisdom, root it into my being, and use it to create all that I need and desire. I know deep in my essence that immersing into this course and continuing with my ongoing dedication to becoming the artist that I’ve always sought to be is waiting for me just on the other side of the veil! I begin to dream seeds of new art pieces I will create, manifest, express and share with the world! I am at once shedding and releasing the past year’s decay and also receiving the new dream seeds.

RECEIVE * DREAM SEEDS * OPEN * ILLUMINATED * CREATION

I am overcome with a kowing that all is right. I am in the right place even though I don’t have a regular steady normal job. I know that even though I can see the city and the tiny little cars with all the little people rushing off to their “normal” Monday morning routines, I am out here among the mountains, the plains, the his/herstory, the earth, the elements, my own creativity, spirit and being. This is right, this is where I should be. This IS my “work”. This IS my “calling”. This is WHO I AM! One with the land, the seasons, the wild feral creatures and plants, the magic that creates all that I see and experience. This is what I am meant to bring to life in my magic in my ART! I am in rhythm, harmony, and true connection with that which sustains me. And as I rise and give offering of a piece of my own hair to this place on the land and all who have imparted their message upon me, I pause briefly to allow the wisdom to integrate into my third eye…becoming intuition..seeing through new perceptions.

INTEGRATION* INTUITION* WISDOM* KNOWING* THIRD EYE

 

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